Throught the toughest & most joyae moments you been there. I love you with all my heart & waking up every morning next to to you makes me feel like the luckiest woman. I love you always, always. @juanbuitron (Taken with instagram)

(Source: every-seven-seconds, via thelmiil8er)

Whats today? Oh yeah sunday.

I can’t lie, I can’t front, it hurts a lot that I didnt get a card, flowers not even a “Happy…” or an I love you from you. It makes me feel as If you dont care. You think mothers day is just a way for consumers to spend & for merchants to make money. Thats true, but I am still your wife & the mother of your kids I expected something. This su day came & left just like any other sunday. The only good part was being with my babies. I want to cry but is not worth it. Now I know not to expect nothing from you. Thanks for going to a buffet though, at least I can say I am ful.

Except the fact of having my babie by my side this the worstmothers day I have ever had.

Now I know to not expect the unexpected.

Brii Brii I close my eyes & I see you being 8.8lbs again. Today you are already 6, where does years go? They fly dont they? I wish they didn’t. I am really sorry I was not the mother you needed me to be at one point. I was you young & didn’t male the best decisions. I hope you can forgive me. I love you with all my heart, always have, never doubt that. I promise you to never leave, never judge you, never take you take the wrong path. I know where I want you to be because I know all that you can be. Te amo mi negrita. (Taken with instagram)

I am the luckiest mother in the world. This two beautiful princesses give my life meaning, purpose, joy & pride. They teach to cherish every second of everyday because tomorrow is never promised. Sometimes they make me want to cry, scream, lock myself in a room but I love them to death. They make me feel so good about myself & lofe (Taken with instagram)

Dupont circle Temporary Starbucks, they love us so much they making coffee out of a truck!!! (Taken with instagram)

Slutty princess

Sparckly skirts with sinful stains on rainy days kiss her innocense away,

Warm soft hands became lustful friends to unknown faces & perfect strangers,

Virgin unspoken lips turned into vitctims of dirtyness in a room full of empty souls,

& the days went on, filled with sinful skirts, lustful hands & dirty lips belonging to a lost princess in the game of flesh against flesh, longing to be.

Hoe, whore, slut, bitch, roller.

It hurts to be label, it hurts more then I ever thought. I hear the words & I freeze as I flashbacks gaze thru my eyes. It will never be over. I realized this, I will never be ok, I will never move on, I will never stop looking back. It will be there forever & I can never change it. You will never understand why, most of the time I dont. It just hurts. It’s very painful to go down that memory lane, but a lot of times one simple word, one bad dream, or even a movie can trigger that uncontrollable feeling that takes over me.

People try to console me, yet they only know half of it. They do not understand it or me or why. They just judge me upon it. People think they know, or assume they have a slight idea of what I been thru. They don’t know. Nobody know. Even the closest ones, the blood related ones. Only I know.

I wish I could just let it all out. Be able to speak it up & hear the words I need to hear. But I been judged enough, been reminded enough, it hurts enough. It’s just easier to keep it to myself & figure out a way to deal with it on my own. I wish I would have known better, I wish I wouldn’t had sell myself so low, I wish there was someone who could truly understand, truly care & truly see me for I have overcome & for what I am trying to be & not for the mistakes I made.

No return

Recently I been having flashbacks of all the things I’ve seen, all the things I’ve done that I regret.
The fact that I did it does not bother me so much. I have learned to overcome it slowly with time, but reliving it in my head daily agonizes me. I wish I could just erase it all forever because burying it down does not work.

It just really hurts because I can’t accept who I was & the things I did. Everyone has forgiven me except for me, I can’t & I don’t why. I hate to think about it, I hate looking for excuses to try to make myself feel better. I feel so ashamed, so selfless, so disgusting & so alone. I never talked to anyone about it. I already been judge enough even by loved ones I do not need anymore disapprovals nor to be looked down to. I dont want to be misunderstood. I just want people to know & love me for who I am today & not resent me for wht I did.